This is my new home. Come say “Herro.”

I’ve already spent the last year and a half here–its old and temporary manifestations, to be precise–and have eaten approximately 200 meals. Two. Hundred. Marginal. Meals. I’ll be spending the next two and a half years eating here, too, so I better appreciate my new kitchen. I’ll be eating another couple hundred meals here in the future (Will there be no mercy on my tastebuds?). And thus, the long-awaited first impressions of NEW PERMANENT CAFETERIA! (cue trumpet fanfare)
I don’t have a picture of the actual grand opening, but this is pretty much it–although there was a giant (un-sneezeguarded) chocolate fondue fountain where everyone could get a dipped dessert; I chose not to partake because I would still like to remain free from MRSA and other nosocomial infections. My friend Luke, though, did take a dessert. He loves dessert. And, well, I guess his currently-enlarged cervical lymph nodes containing millions of viral particles reminded me that I made a good decision in skipping the fondue.
As per the actual cafeteria, it’s basically the same as it was before, except with a shiny new look and more walking room. The old cafeteria induced claustrophobia on a daily basis. Now, I don’t have to worry about going crazy from the crowds. I’ll still probably go crazy eventually, just not so soon. I won’t be smacking people with my backpack, either. I feel like a better person already.
However, despite making more walking room, the cafeteria failed to add in more stations to distribute food, so said walking room really becomes waiting-in-line room. I’m still waiting in long lines for food, and somehow, despite adding more registers, am still waiting even longer to pay. Renovation fail.

They also took away the “salad of the day” station, where Amy, the salad lady, would make awesome salads which always had tons of chicken for my naturally pseudo-Atkins-diet-craving tastes. What did they do with Amy? They replaced her with Starbucks machines. DAMN YOU STARBUCKS. They also didn’t do much to improve the other food. It still tastes the same. And in case you don’t know, same = crap. Usually I’m not this harsh (well, actually I can be haha), but I’ve had enough experience to judge the food here. Take, for instance, what I had on this particular day: tilapia with pineapple salsa, greens, and corn pudding. The fish was dry and lacked flavor. The salsa had no trace of pineapple flavoring. The corn pudding was not corny and not sweet. The greens were ok though–I do enjoy a nice batch of potlikker juice! Food at the cafeteria is usually a hit-or-miss usually. The only difference that’s occurred is that food is more expensive now because the hospital has to cover the costs of the renovation. AW CRAP. If it weren’t for the sake of sparing my brain from another hour of mind-numbing lecture, I would actually prefer to take free boxed lunches at lunch lecture. Almost.
I’ll still pay the money for food from the cafeteria. I’ve learned that lunchtime is more about socializing and *gasp* gossiping more than it is about eating. As long as my stomach stops growling at the end of the meal, I’ll be satisfied. Plus, I’m gonna be here for another couple of years, I might as well get used to it. But at least I’ll say this in closing:
New look, same taste.
Everyone can finally wear those “I survived the renovation” shirts for real now!