I Have A Problem.

I’m lazy.

LAZY.

In college, I remember telling the pre-med advisors my one weakness was my laziness. They laughed. At my UCSD interview, I told them I was not good at keeping myself motivated (euphemism for “I’m lazy”). I didn’t get accepted.

And now, I’m getting too lazy to cook. I tried to make oyako-don this past week, and instead of using chicken, I used tofu. Cutting up and de-fatting chicken is too much work. Washing and chopping vegetables are also too much work for me. I stopped after slicing up an onion. I added in frozen peas to build up my cooking ego (more ingredients + more color = automatically better cook, right?).

I just don’t have anything to write now. It’s not writer’s block, it’s because I’m filled to the brim with sloth and gluttony (but that’s a separate issue). I’d like to elaborate on the intrinsic problems that accompany laziness and a goal of becoming a surgeon, but…I want to take a nap right now. Well, at least vegetarians would be pleased that I’m eating veggie-centric dishes. Except I killed at least 4 chick embryos to kick up the protein content of the dish. Woops.

The Lazy Man’s Semi-Vegetarian Oyakodon

Add onions, tofu, peas, soy sauce, sugar, rice wine, hon dashi, chicken broth, and water in a wok. Season everything to taste. Add eggs. Cook rice. Poof–you’ve accomplished cooking food while being lazy. Hooray?

Christmas Dinner (It’s Only A Month Late)

So why am I posting about Christmas dinner almost a month after it occurred? For a variety of reasons: 1. I have a huge stockpile of pictures from winter break that I need to post and I decided to start with this one, 2. there’s never a bad time to post about good food, and 3. I don’t care about Christmas so I don’t care if it’s a month late.

That’s right. Christmas can suck it.

It’s a consumerist’s holiday that brings out the shallow and superficial sides out of people (pretending to be good) and it makes to stores crowded and then I get pissed at everyone because I want to shop in peace and not have to use my people-whacking skills to knock everyone out of my way.

Christmas is, however, good for one thing: getting the family together for a good meal. And nothing beats hot pot on a cold (at least in California terms) winter night.

The spread usually includes various leafy veggies, noodles, tofu, sliced meats, and meatballs of sorts accompanied by dipping sauces. It’s sorta like Japanese shabu shabu, except it’s got more variety for a smaller price.

For a meal that doesn’t overtly emphasize carbs, it’s suprisingly easy to get stuffed eating just meatballs and veggies. I’m always amazed to see my mom (who’s 5′5″ and 105 lbs.) finish up everything long after everyone else has called it quits. It’s downright shameful to see someone almost half my size eat at least twice as much. I guess I can find some solace in the fact that I can always eat more burritos and tacos than her. But that’s cuz she hates Mexican food. Hooray for technicalities!

P.S. If anyone has a portable grill and wants to have an old-fashioned hot-pot-in, let me know! I’ll be available…in 3 weeks, after my test.

Thanksgiving Onslaught

I’ve had a good week to let my stomach recover from Thanksgiving (somewhat–a few of us went back to Prince’s Hot Chicken for round 2 a couple days ago). Out of all the holidays and special occasions, Thanksgiving is my favorite. It’s a food lover’s day. Christmas is for consumerism, Valentine’s is for lovers, St. Patrick’s is for alcoholics who are in denial, Independence Day is for Will Smith, Halloween is for white people, and my birthday is another excuse to get excessively intoxicated. I don’t really care; I just want turkey and gravy in my belly. And yes, I know I can eat that any day, but I need a day dedicated to eating, napping, eating, napping, and repeat.

I started my Thanksgiving day bright and early at 10:30am to pick up the turkey kit from Whole Foods. However, this dinner was not destined to be; my mom dropped a bomb the night before when she told me that we were going to a Chinese church Thanksgiving potluck instead. At the time, I was overcome by devastation. Chinese and Thanksgiving are polar opposites. It took my family over a decade to transition from Thanksgiving hot pots to Thanksgiving turkeys.

Thankfully, there was actually a mix of Western and Chinese fare at the potluck, and I was happy. My stomach, not so much. It was about to burst even before I started on my second plate and way before I started on dessert. On the way out, I also chowed down on some extra chicken wings. I’m a fatty, what can I say?

Side note: I had just finished my exam on the heart, lungs, and reproductive system. As part of the potluck, some members gave speeches on what they were thankful for. One member detailed his story of surviving a heart attack, getting a stent, getting restenosed, and then finally getting bypass surgery. While listening, all that went through my head was the pathology and treatment for each stage of this man’s ordeal. I couldn’t even escape medical school after flying thousands of miles away. Crap.

On Friday, or Thanksgiving Part Deux, I had a respite for lunch when I got some tacos with my friend Viv. It wasn’t really a break for my stomach, though, because I ordered three tacos and a horchata. Dear Stomach, I’m sorry.

Dinner came around, and I was confronted with another feast. At this point in the 48-hour period, I’m not attacking the food anymore; it’s attacking me. I suffered through another glorious Whole Foods Thanksgiving meal, calling it quits midway during my second helping. I couldn’t even entertain the notion of eating Whole Foods’ oh-so-delicious pumpkin pie. It was good food, but I was on the verge of entering food coma oblivion after my second Thanksgiving. I definitely didn’t prepare enough for so many consecutive feasts. It was sorta like “death by schnoo schnoo” on Futurama.

Now that I’m thinking about all this food, though, I’m getting hungry and long to relive it all again. Maybe I’ll be better prepared when Christmas dinners roll around.

Spam Musubi

Dear Hawaii, how can I ever thank you enough? You’ve given so much to the mainland; you gave us Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Magnum P.I., surfing, sea turtles, hula girls, plate lunches, and spam musubis, with extra emphasis on the last two items. In fact, I want to emphasize Hawaiian food in general. It’s the greatest cuisine to ever grace the West Coast, and hopefully it makes its way east. How do you qualify a cuisine that’s richly influenced by Japanese, Chinese, and Korean cuisine, emphasizes meat in all its glorious forms–fried, barbecued, roasted–and considers a complete meal (called the plate lunch) to be comprised of a large portion of meat, a scoop of rice, and a salad that’s really macaroni salad (no fibrous, leafy vegetable matter at all!)? Words can’t describe it, but if I were to compare it to something we know here, it would be to Southern cuisine, where complete meals are also composed of meat, potatoes, and biscuits. No need for any vegetable. Maybe there will be a fruit pie for dessert, but that won’t yield very many nutrients.

I miss plate lunches, and all the choices of meat I can get. However, I can make spam musubis in my own apartment, and conjure up my own little taste of Hawaii. Spam musubis are ridiculously easy to make if you’ve ever cooked Asian food before. Actually, if you’ve even made rice before, then you’ve already made half the dish! TOTALLY RADICAL! All you need is Spam, rice, nori (seaweed) sheets, furikake (optional rice seasoning), sugar, and soy sauce.

Slice up some spam and fry it in a pan. After a minute or two, add the sugar and soy sauce mix and let the meat soak up the juices. After the meat’s done cooking, take it off the stove, and in the meantime, take some rice and mold it into a rectangular bed for the spam slice. Add some rice seasoning to the top, and then place a slice of spam on top of it all. Wrap the entire thing in seaweed, and SHABAM! You have a handful of meaty and ricey goodness, that’s found all over Hawaii. Eat it on the go, or at home, or eat it like I do: while reading food blogs. Yes, I like to maximize my grastronomic exposure.