China Chop Suey

Finding China Chop Suey is like finding a really dirty ten dollar bill in a trashcan: you kinda didn’t want to go there in the first place, but after getting the grime off your hands and off your new bling, you begin to appreciate the decision to go head first into no-man’s land. Thus, I ended up at China Chop Suey, which is located waaaaay over in the boonies in south Fresno, at my dad’s suggestion. When I first drove up, I realized that I had passed this location before while driving around downtown (which has only been a handful of times in my life). China Chop Suey (every time I type the name I have an urge to type ching chang chong, which is probably uber racist, but not really since I’m Chinese too, right?) is located in a former Sizzler’s/Denny’s-type restuarant, on the corner of Blackstone and Clinton, I believe (aka nowhere). However, we shouldn’t judge places based on appearances, correct? Right!

So I guess after eating there (I’m already jumping to my conclusion, but grammar, syntax, and writing structure be damned), I have to say that the establishment serves food that is delightfully subtle in flavor, but only probably because a layer of grease coats everything, which in turn coats the taste buds, thus preventing the tongue-brain-mind complex from fully appreciating the real flavors. In short: get rid of the grease, and it’s actually good.

The actual meal took place over a month ago, so I can’t really offer much more than what I just said; I seriously thought up that pseudo-review while eating there, with the intention of wowing my readers with that incredible insight into gastronomy. It doesn’t sound so flashy anymore, so I’ll just post short descriptions and photos of the dim sum I ate.

Clay pot with fried tofu and braised beef is a pretty standard dish, although not many Chinese places serve it in Fresno, probably because this is a standard Chinese Chinese dish, not like Panda Express.

I still try to figure out what this is. My best guess is Strips of taro and bacon, smushed together, and pan fried. It’s pretty good though, like a twist on regular radish or taro cake.

Shrimp and corn fritters (?) I don’t think fritter is the right descriptor, but it’s the only word from my limited vocabulary that fits. Unless I want to start confabulating and creating new words, that is.

Fried pumpkin rice cake I’m not sure if they used actual rice cake, because the pumpkin flavor was quite pronounced in this dessert. Wipe some of the grease off, and it becomes a must-eat dish.

Rice cake/mochi filled with peanuts and coconut Another dessert that was delicious, but somehow managed to glisten with grease when it came out. It’s good, but not as good as the pumpkin cake.

Pork belly and taro This dish was cooked with a sweet and sour or barbecue sauce (reminiscent of BBQ pork) and laid on top of a bed of cabbage, which was cooked by the heat and sauce. For the portions of taro and pork in the dish at the price (which I unfortunately forget), this dish was quite a deal. Get this, another vegetable dish, and a bowl of rice, and you’re set for a really filling and tasty meal. I’d get this again just because I’m a sucker for this cut of pork.

I’ll definitely try to go back, unless my laziness to drive across town inhibits me. That, and maybe if too many people I know begin showing up to eat there. I’ll stop going when that happens, too. I’m just antisocial like that.

China Chop Suey

2345 N Blackstone Ave

Fresno, CA‎

(559) 226-2337‎

It’s Asparagus Time

You’d think a post entitled “It’s Asparagus Time” would be dedicated to a crap ton of asparagus goodness. I only have one picture, and it’s from China Bistro. Although since it’s a seasonal item I guess it’s ok because having a post about a seasonal food gives me +10 food blogger points. Did I mention the asparagus san yan is delicious? And to my knowledge, it didn’t make  my pee smell, either. Huzzah!

This was made using a black bean sauce, asparagus, beef, chicken, and shrimp.

I also had a combination fried rice while I was home last month. My parents seem to always tell me they have a new recipe for fried rice whenever I go home. As long as it has chicken powder/MSG, it’ll always be delicious.

China Bistro

2021 W. Bullard

Fresno, CA

PS I actually have more asparagus-related comments: after buying a pack of asparagus from Trader Joe’s, I realize that asparagus looks pretty intimidating to prepare. Or maybe it’s the tree-bark-like exterior of raw asparagus that scares the crap out of me. That’s normal, right?

In-N-Out Battles Five Guys

This is as epic as it gets. The topic starts so much fire under so many people’s asses I can smell the barbecue through my compooter. In-N-Out? Five Guys? West Coast? East Coast? Which is better?

(And no, I will not be mentioning the phrase “I’m dreaming of California” anytime soon, though my obvious choice for burger champion screams “California rocks!” Maybe I’ll twitter about California in the future. You know, when I get popular and people start paying attention to what I say.)

I don’t know how much I really need to add to the topic. Each aspect, from burgers to fries, all the way down to the crunch of peanut shells on the ground and the red-and-white outdoor umbrellas, have been analyzed into minisculfinity (miniscule + infinity = confabulation or confabulous?). To be honest, I don’t care for fries from either establishment. Checkers has the best fries in all of fastfoodland. Until one of the chains decides to have sweet potato fries or duck-fat-fried fries, Checkers will remain indominatable amongst nutritionally-devoid fried sticks of  starches.

I can comment, however, on their burgers, the other main point of contention. To compare the baseline characteristics, I’ll make it easy by comparing some basic categories.

Five Guys

1. Size: excessive is the word I’m thinking of; while I try to not get food over my face when eating (not that I care), it inevitably happens. The burger to mouth ratio doesn’t match
2. Meat: it tastes tough and dry, kinda reminds me of fancy microwave burgers without that microwave taste
3. Toppings: again, excessive; I’ll inevitably get something on my pants (and again, not that I care, but people don’t like to be seen with me afterwards)
4. Cost: $6 for a double cheeseburger is out of my league, even if it does come with free peanuts

In-N-Out

1. Size: the double double just barely makes the clearance height of my mouth after a bit of smushing together
2. Meat: it really does taste different, dare I say fresh? To describe it in at least some sort of helpful way, I’ll say that there’s the dash of umami that all meat lovers are craving, which complements and even enhances the toppings, which brings me to…
3. Toppings: ANIMAL STYLE – lettuce, tomato, grilled onions, cheese, and special sauce. Simple. Euphoric. Like cocaine or heroin. Mmmm…
4. Cost: $3 for a double double. I can use the leftover cash and buy another burger and bask in some gluttony

So that’s my comparison. Simple, if not crude. It gets the job done though. Are you dreaming of California yet? They even have Neopolitan milk shakes too!

Mangosteen Preview – Fresno

During spring break, my friend asked me if I wanted to help taste test her cousin’s/uncle’s (Asian family structures are convoluted) new restaurant, Mangosteen, which is taking over the former Kim’s Vietnamese space. When posed with a question concerning free food, how can I answer with anything other than a “HELL YEAH!”? I guess I could say “I would be positively delighted!” But I wasn’t feeling particularly dainty. So hell yeah to free food it is.

While I thought this would be some awesome free multi-course feast of tasting, we were only presented with two dishes: jiggling(?) beef and drunken chicken. While it wasn’t the feast I expected, I was still happy to get free food. Besides, I had already had one lunch less than 2 hours before this tasting, so the belly was already bursting before I even arrived at Mangosteen.

Anyway, since this meal was free, and the restaurant is still tweaking its recipes, I’m not going to comment on the food. But there are pictures!

Perhaps this dish was called “shaking beef” and not jiggling beef. Yeah…that sounds less gross than jiggling.

Drunken chicken.

Mangosteen opens towards the end of April. Check it, yo.

Also, does anyone know what happened to the owners of Kim’s? Rumor has it that they’re planning to reopen in another location.

Spring Break Food Diary Pt. 1

Scientific research has shown that writing a food journal/diary or taking pictures of food can actually help dieters stay on task and lose weight. I’m not really trying to lose weight–I’m actually trying to gain the five pounds I lost while studying over the past 3 months. And since I’m back in California, I figure I could probably eat real food instead of eating Tiger Milks and drinking Myoplex (PROOTEEEEIIINNNN) to gain back my muscle (don’t laugh too hard now). So here goes:

Dear Good Fatty, Bad Fatty,
I’m so glad I can confide my secrets within your pages; today I’ll tell you what I’ve been devouring all week.

Friday: soondubu and barbecued animal flesh at Ko Hyang Tofu House in San Gabriel
Saturday: 2 Beard Papas, 2 sausages from Wurstkuche, and chiles en nogada from La Cabanita in LA (I also had a 40 and some margaritas that night)
Sunday: short rib has breakfast from City Park in Pasadena, two bowls of shio ramen from Santouka, and two mulitas from La Taquiza in LA
Monday: old mulita from La Taquiza, asparagus san yan from China Bistro, and two double doubles from In-N-Out, beer and chocolate
Tuesday: pho from May’s Cafe, sandwich from Von’s, Sweet Tomatoes (salad, pasta, bread, four bowls of soup, brownie, ice cream) for dinner
Wednesday: toast for breakfast, bowl of rice, chicken, and radishes from home, and two tacos from Robertito’s for lunch

I still haven’t barfed, so I must not be eating enough. I’ll try to step it up. Thanks for listening, diary. You’re my best friend.

Christmas Dinner (It’s Only A Month Late)

So why am I posting about Christmas dinner almost a month after it occurred? For a variety of reasons: 1. I have a huge stockpile of pictures from winter break that I need to post and I decided to start with this one, 2. there’s never a bad time to post about good food, and 3. I don’t care about Christmas so I don’t care if it’s a month late.

That’s right. Christmas can suck it.

It’s a consumerist’s holiday that brings out the shallow and superficial sides out of people (pretending to be good) and it makes to stores crowded and then I get pissed at everyone because I want to shop in peace and not have to use my people-whacking skills to knock everyone out of my way.

Christmas is, however, good for one thing: getting the family together for a good meal. And nothing beats hot pot on a cold (at least in California terms) winter night.

The spread usually includes various leafy veggies, noodles, tofu, sliced meats, and meatballs of sorts accompanied by dipping sauces. It’s sorta like Japanese shabu shabu, except it’s got more variety for a smaller price.

For a meal that doesn’t overtly emphasize carbs, it’s suprisingly easy to get stuffed eating just meatballs and veggies. I’m always amazed to see my mom (who’s 5′5″ and 105 lbs.) finish up everything long after everyone else has called it quits. It’s downright shameful to see someone almost half my size eat at least twice as much. I guess I can find some solace in the fact that I can always eat more burritos and tacos than her. But that’s cuz she hates Mexican food. Hooray for technicalities!

P.S. If anyone has a portable grill and wants to have an old-fashioned hot-pot-in, let me know! I’ll be available…in 3 weeks, after my test.