I’ve Become A Sellout!

It’s official: I’m a tool. I’ve fallen for The Man’s tricks.

I received a package from Foodbuzz containing a new product from Quaker Oats, a fancy schmancy cereal bar, and…I liked it! How could this have happened? I initially thought it would just be great to get free food, and I would laugh when my plan to swindle the corporations into giving me free food succeeded. But now, the tables have turned, and I may actually consider buying these cereal bars when they come out (given a situation where I have money to buy them). I guess that plan blew up in my face. It could’ve been due to the nice paper-like wrapper that reminded me of all expensive food products. Or it could’ve been my surprise at how the banana coconut (WTF?) bar was actually tasty. Somewhere, I had let my guard down and been taken in by the corportations.

And now I’ve lost all hipster credibility! All those years of listening to indie music, supporting mom-and-pop hole-in-the-wall restaurants, wearing American Apparel, buying Apple products–they’re worthless! I’m no longer a unique individual like the legions of hipsters who make the world a better place, one free-trade coffee at a time.

I hang my head in shame. But you know what? In 15 or 20 years, if (or when!) I’m accepting vacations to Hawaii and the Bahamas courtesy of big pharma, this instance of selling out to Quaker won’t be so bad.